I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
