She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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