I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
