Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
