Is it because I queefed?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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