I skipped work to stalk him.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
