who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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