Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
