He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
