I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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