Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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