those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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