so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
