his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
