Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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