he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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