Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
