hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
