No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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