I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
