so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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