she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
only you would photoshop your dick
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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