Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
