After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
