you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
