I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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