It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
