She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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