i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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