We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
