Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
