NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
