btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
