The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
