he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This baby is an asshole
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
