____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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