I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
