She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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