The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
be right there i have to get my cape
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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