BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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