I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
