Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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