In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
