I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
