my mouth tastes like poor choices
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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