the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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