He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
