yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
