I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
