your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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