I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
