Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
