We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
